“Do as I say, not as I do”

Have you seen any adults telling their kids to do something, then modeling something else? Some are obvious, like the parent who uses substances, legal or otherwise, and tells their kids not to.

Not so obvious, is when we tell our child “apologize to Suzie”, when we never admit to being at fault and haven’t even checked in to see if there is a more meaningful way to intervene.

I was visiting a friend when our boys were small. The neighbors’ child hit one of the other children and I watched as his father showed up from next door and dragged his son home, spanking him as he yelled “We Don’t Hit!”. What’s wrong with this picture?

What message do you think this child will be getting at a deep level?

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