At our house table manners got more than their fair share of attention. I was always trying to make sure my kids knew how to behave in public, or when they were guests at a friend’s house. All that instruction was making our meals unpleasant. We had to find another way to make our requests!

Have you ever noticed that when someone nags you repeatedly about something, you eventually tune them out? If you find yourself saying “How many times do I have to tell you…?” or “You still haven’t put away your…!” then you know the only person listening anymore is probably YOU!

Not only does nagging fail to get you what you want, it is also disrespectful and unattractive.

You can make requests of those you live or work with in much more effective ways than nagging. Below I have listed a few ways to be firm and kind while encouraging the cooperation of your family members:

• Act without talking.
• Give a limited choice (one choice that the parent can act on).
• Use one word.
• Use a signal or a note.
• Give information.
• Say how you feel.
• Describe what you see.

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