Teaching our children to know and love themselves sometimes requires a little education. Over years of counseling and teaching parenting, I have found the work of Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner’s, Raising Kids Who Can, to be very helpful. They teach about the Crucial C’s:

• I Connect
• I am Capable
• I Count
• I have Courage

If children have the crucial C’s they have the following feeling and abilities:

I Connect: I feel secure. I can reach out and make friends.I Cooperate. I believe I belong.
I am Capable: I feel competent. I have self-control. I assume responsibility. I am self reliant. I believe I can do it.
I Count: I feel valuable. I matter. I contribute. I believe I can make a difference.
I have Courage: I feel hopeful. I am willing to try. I am resilient. I believe I can handle what comes.

Discouraged children feel insecure and isolated, may be susceptible to peer pressure. They may seek attention. These kids may feel inadequate, try to control others or avoid taking responsibility. They may seek power. Or, perhaps they feel insignificant and hurt so they try to hurt others. They may seek revenge. Others feel useless. They may give up or avoid.

To learn more about these ideas I recommend Lew and Bettner’s book.